What is shame?
The painful feeling arising from consciousness of something dishonorable or improper.
What does shame cause?
Shame creates walls in relationships. When we cannot come to accept our own shame we hide from those we love, so how can we be truthful with them when we aren't truthful with ourselves.
If we shame others how will they trust and be open with us.
Judgment is the catalyst of shame. We are not open with our mistakes and shame with ourselves because we don’t want to be judged.
We judge others and make them feel shameful about their mistakes and transgressions that God has already forgiven them for.
Why do we shame?
- Sometimes we shame because we are jealous of the freedom of someone else. They are free from the damnation of their mistakes. We see this, we lack this so we shame them.
- We shame because we are projecting what we were raised to view as improper or dishonorable (which isn’t always in alignment with God’s word)
- We shame when the transparency of someone's life makes us uncomfortable, or the truth.
- We shame when we don’t know how to handle our pain from our shame so we want to make someone else feel worse than we do. (Misery loves Company)
How to over come shame (my perspective)
- Own your shame-First we must understand that we are all human and do shameful things.
- Examine your shame
- Examine what triggered the shame
- Is the shame caused by something that someone else did or something you did.
- Was it caused by an act of dishonesty
- Is it due to something you are uncomfortable with based on how you were raised.(may not necessarily be right.)
- Apply what you’ve learned about your shame and move forward knowing God’s grace is sufficient.
Shame, good or bad?
Not all shame is bad shame. Shame is an emotion, and like other emotions is an indicator of what we need to work on internally.
Shame can move you to repentance. The right shame is associated with doing something outside of God’s will for our lives.
His Grace vs. Our Shame
Can we truly except God’s grace and allow shame to lead our decisions?
If we accept God’s grace we know that there’s protection and mercy for our mistakes or things that we are shameful of. Therefore we can be free from shame.
When we are shameful it can prevent us from moving forward and growing.